Over the last couple of years it’s been a struggle to feel comfortable in my own body. I’ve suffered from depression and recently have been diagnosed with Bipolar, and so only after being on medication, speaking to counsellors and really self-reflecting on where things went wrong, I have been able to find pathes to make things right again psychologically and spiritually. One of the biggest parts of my physic that always made me feel let down has been my breasts, because I was an early developer, and being teased and bullies for having breasts and being fat as a child stayed with me for a long time.
I’ve seen a lot of youtube videos about other plus-size girls speaking out about their body dysmorphia and the kind of teasing and derogative slander that they have also recieved growing up. This opened my eyes to realize that I am not alone in this struggle to find peace with myself. This is why I decided to change the way I view my breasts in order to appreciate them more and take care of them, because I am lucky to have healthy ones and I feel that empowerment comes through the sweet combination of education and belief.
When I first started out drawing the book, I was quite nervous about talking about how personal this book is for me on the crowdfunding platform “Pozible“, so I made a cute jingle and I uploaded a few pages to spread the message of love and breasts. As time went on a few of my friends asked me more probing questions and I felt the need to look into not just beautifying the female anatomy, but also bring out health and wellness issues as a reminder that not only is it important to love yourself, but also take care of yourself and encourage others to do the same.
So the book is almost to the end of it’s campaign, and although I only raised $100 out of the $500 goal, which means that it was an unsuccessful campaign and I will not be able to create the hardcopy-thick-watercolor-paper-ISBN-registered book that I had wanted to create, I feel that this period where I doggedly drew the pages, talked about the book and analysed my feelings about breasts has really helped me to let go of my past fears and hatred towards my body.
I’m happy to still publish the book, even though it will simply be a paperback copy with thinner pages, it will be available for anyone who wants a little bit a peace, to look a boobies, color boobies, reflect on the human body and how beautiful it is, and give back to society because for every book sold, $1 will go to a cancer society of my choosing.
*sighs* I’ve never really created something which means so much to me, and I know sucess is usually determined by how much money you make or how much you sell, but for me, right now, I feel such an amazing amount of peace, that by the shear fact of this book finally being in it’s last stages of completion, I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude and thankfulness to life itself, for allowing me to do this, to create this, and to share this with the world.
I’ll share with you more pages from the book and the book itself later when I’ve finally published it on Amazon, but for now you can see the book’s campaign here on Pozible.